“Some say hate is confused admiration” ~ Nas
We’ve heard so many people talk about having haters. We may have even encountered some in our lives. It can seem so personal when they attack. Saying such hurtful slangs, slurs or accusations can make your blood boil; especially if they are all lies. So why do haters exist? Why can’t they be happy for you and be inspired by what you do instead of showing so much distain? Let’s dive into and find out what the haters are actually saying when they speak about you…
Hate As A Defense
When you come across haters, you’re not coming across people who have a justified reason to dislike you as a person, you’re coming across people who are using anger as a defense mechanism. Their defenses are in place to prevent them from looking at themselves. You are doing what they want to do but are afraid to take the necessary risks to have the experiences in life you are experiencing. You are holding up a mirror and they see what they are not attempting to do. You were bold enough to go for what you want and they don’t want to admit that they lacked the same courage.
Self reflection can be a difficult task, so instead of going down that road, it’s easier for some people to hate. Hating keeps them in a comfortable position, not having to face the truths about themselves.
The Ego Is Driving Them
You may have what they want. They are mad that you have it and they really want to know what did you have to do to get it. The problem is, they will not ask you because their ego is in the way so they express distain instead.
Think about a time you've completed a puzzle or riddle that stumped your friend. Once you figured it out, they showed anger towards the fact that you figured it out—harmless anger, nothing that destroys a friendship. Most of the time your friend probably downplayed your accomplishment because he wasn't able to figure it out himself.
It’s all based on themselves, the hate is not directed to you as a person. It’s based on your accomplishment and them not knowing how to accomplish the same thing but are too proud to ask. They stay stuck in living the same day over and over, because their ego will not allow them to ask for a different way. To stroke their ego, they express hate because that makes them feel some kind of power or control in their own lives.
Being Inspired vs. Hating
If you are receiving a lot of attention for whatever reason and you receive hate, just know that they are jealous because they want attention also.
You may hear, “He’s not better than me.” This is actually true, no one is better than anyone else. Some people just choose to do better things, have better daily habits.
Now here’s the difference from someone being inspired by what you do and someone hating on what you do.
The one inspired sees this truth—no one is better than another—and is compelled to take the actions necessary to obtain the same results or something similar that will fill out his desires. He looks at you as proof that it is possible and he is propelled to live his dreams.
The one who is hating sees this truth and instead of accepting it as a positive fact, he distorts this information and protects himself from any self-awareness by directing hate in your direction. Instead of doing what the inspired person did—see what has to change from within and make those adjustments so he can succeed for himself—haters find it easier, and safer for their ego, to just criticize you.
Getting Past The Limitation
When you are achieving things that others want and begin to be met with hate, know that you are a treat to their beliefs because you are exposing their own limitations. They had a set of beliefs of what’s possible given a certain background and you come along and disprove those beliefs. Challenging someone else’s belief is closely akin to challenging what makes that person who they are.
We go about our lives with expectations based on our beliefs of how the world works and when something or someone comes and shatters those beliefs, there is a resistance that arises. Some people become aware of that resistance and ask questions, others throw up their guards or show hate.
There was a limiting belief around what heavyweight black boxers were capable of doing until Muhammed Ali stepped on the scene. He was met with so much hate because he shattered those beliefs.
Resistance is a common reaction to challenged beliefs but some are able to pause and consciously analyze their beliefs versus the contrasting belief, making a better decision on what to hold on to and what to change. Some are not willing to look at their beliefs so they deflect the contrasting belief with hate.
Hating on the success of others are only an indication of the limiting belief that exist in the mind of the haters. Their refusal to probe these beliefs keep them in their same situation. Their own ego is in the way of their own salvation.
So just remember, haters are the ones who are showing confused admiration towards you. It’s almost never about who you are as a person, it’s mainly about what they believe they are capable of. If you have what they want, do what they want to do. If you are living the way they want to live, then you will run into enough haters in you lifetime. Know that returning hate for hate doesn’t solve anything.
This is why it’s better to show love to your haters. Because you understand what haters are actually saying when they express their dislike towards you, show compassion. You know they are in a place they don’t want to be but they are taken captive by their ego, so you show love and bless them. Pray that they might come to this realization and live the life they dream of living.